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Buzz Light Year Terrorizes Toontown

Day 3: Along came down the Spiderman
Wednesday, January 31, 2007

You really know that something's wrong when your friendly neighborhood Spiderman can't save you from the terror that comes from Buzz Lightyear.

A bystander was able to send us this disturbing photo of Buzz beating the S#%$# out of Spidey.

It was reported that Spiderman right arm was amputated during the fight. Spiderman however was able to survive the rampage, stating that he has never been up against such a vicious foe, it seems that Buzz's rage surpasses that of Carnage.

It seems that the safety of Toontown is now more at risk with the impending threat brought about by Buzz than that of Al Qaeda, who not once has not cared to attack super-heroes.

With all of this happening we can only dare to ask who's next?

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posted by DeathToPuberty @ 4:35 AM, ,

Day 2: Unmasking the face behid the terror
Friday, January 26, 2007

A close examination from hidden CCTV cameras in the region reveals an astonishing discovery!

The marauding savage that has caused this maddness is one of Toontown's notable citizens...

People know him as Woody's best friend...

But to most of us he's known for his catchphrase: "To infinity, and beyond!"

He's none other than Buzz Light Year!

We've tried to make contact with his cadres from Star Command but it seams that he has gone A.W.O.L. for months. Though some sources from the Star Command's Intelligence unit have indicated that Buzz has gone insane and assumed the role of a warlord (ala Colonel Kurtz
of Apocalypse Now)in a phantom planet outside of Star Command jurisdiction.

We have tried to get Woody's opinion on the matter but it seems that Woody's gone missing...

Up to now nobody knows exactly the extent of Buzz's megalomania, but it seems that what was witnessed is a prelude to an impeding disaster...

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posted by DeathToPuberty @ 3:07 AM, ,

Day 1: Unspeakable carnage ravages toontown
Thursday, January 11, 2007

There's an unknown menace terrorizing toontown!

Words fall short to describe this unspeakable carnage.

The sight of maimed and mutilated bodies dares us to ask:

"How could such a thing happen?"

"Who could be responsible for such a dastardly act?"

"Why do things like this happen? Toontown is supposed to be about fun and surprises..."

A surprise it is especially for the maimed victims of the violent rage that lead to the deaths of some of the most well-loved heroes of toontown.

Keeping all of this in mind this site has decided to follow the progress of this case.

"Disfigured and oblique
From the appetite that I seek
I'm a hungry cannibal
I'm a rabid animal

My remains are being scattered
I've been bludgeoned, I'm in pain
Stomach pains are coming
And they strike with demon speed
Dead bodies everywhere
Piles of blood, entrails and hair
I'm bleeding from the inside

From the armageddon outside
Reaccuring rotting dreams
From this place the demons speak
My skin exfoliates

My patience terminates
Unfold to unholy urges
Unearthed with urgency

The holocaust was nothing
Compared to my lividity
In this oblong box that's eating you
There's nothing you can do
Dead Bodies!
Dead Bodies!
Dead Bodies!"

- rancid, Dead Bodies

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posted by DeathToPuberty @ 10:01 PM, ,